Things We Lost in the Fire

(Our view from the cabin)

Do you ever wonder why God brings people into our lives, or why things happen to us, or feel so defeated? My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. We had a very tumultuous 7 months that I thought we could never possibly bounce back from. I was broken, he was depleted from all of the nonsensical arguing, and thing just seemed to be getting worse and worse. I prayed for some relief, except all I got in return was more heart break. I would lay in bed at night and cry and plead with God to make it all go away, to make things go back to the way they were. After awhile, it worked; except things didn't go back to he way they were…our relationship got better. New, per-say.  

Let’s skip all the heart wrenching crap that I once felt would be my demise, and fast forward to this beautiful little gift that God has taught me…forgiveness. 

So once things were slowly getting better, we decided we needed some alone time away from out friends, our town, and from work (and an over load of school work for me). We decided on this little cabin in the middle of no where in the Poconos. This tiny little one bedroom cabin that we have been renting every winter since 2014 is like a second home to us. We felt safe there.  It was just him and I and our little wiener dog. We did absolutely nothing but watch TV, eat a bunch of delicious crappy food, and just lounge around.  

One night, we were playing Uno by the fire, and asks me, “How do we get rid of all of these bad feelings and thoughts we have be carrying for so long?”. I looked up at him, and looked over at the fire crackling and said, “We burn them.” He laughed as asked me what I meant. I explained to him that we would write down all of the bad feelings and thoughts we had been carrying for so long and throw them into the fire; they would be scorched and gone forever. I ripped two pieces of paper out of my journal (I take that thing EVERYWHERE), and we began to write. Of course I came up with 10, and he only came up with 4.  I still don't know if its because I'm sappy, or if its just because men totally stink at stating their feelings. Probably the latter.  

We tore each individual feeling or thought off into its own strip, and crumbled it up. One by one we threw them in the fire and watched them disappear. I’m super nosey, so I asked him what was on his list.  

Here’s what he wrote… 
1.Regrets  
2.Childish Games  
3.2016  
4.Pride.  
I was honestly impressed, since he has never been the type to talk about things of this nature, so I was happy for him that he was letting these things go. 

Me on the other hand, my list was a tad bit more….eye opening. My list consisted of… 
1.Shame  
2.Anger 
3.Spitefulness  
4.Physical Pain  
5.Fear  
6.Anger  
7.Nasty Attitude  
8.Lies  
9.Life Stressors  
10.2016. 

A few weeks later we were at dinner and I randomly asked him if he felt better about things. And he told me that the felt as if we had started a brand new relationship and that he couldn't be happier. I told him I felt the same. We just needed to remember that we loved each other, and that all of the nonsense needed to be put aside so we could work on our differences. Whats the point of loving someone so whole heartedly, if you cant take the time to listen, and care for, and be there for them? 

Be kind. Love yourself, love others. It will be your lamp and light; you will find your way.